What Does Your School-Age Child Need From You?
Parenting can sometimes feel like a minefield as you try to keep up with your child's changing needs. When they're babies it's simple; you give them love, take care of their physical needs and encourage them to explore the world around them. But what about when they start school and are expected to be more independent and develop both academic and life skills?
All children need the security of knowing they are loved and have the support, encouragement and guidance of those around them, especially when it comes to facing new challenges and becoming independent. Starting school is a major milestone, and it can take a while for them to adjust to the demands a new environment places on them. Talking to them about their fears and helping them put them into perspective will help take some of the fear away, for example, reassuring a child they will make friends at school because they've been able to make friends before may make them worry less about being left out.
You can help by ensuring they have familiar surroundings at home and routines to give them continuity, and careful blending with the new demands can make the transition easier. Keeping the same basic bedtime routine should help them settle and incorporating school reading will help build a bridge to their new daytime life.
Encouraging them to use what they've learned at school at home, whether it's reading road signs, writing shopping lists or using other skills, not only gives them the opportunity to practise and consolidate these new skills but helps with their confidence by giving them a sense of accomplishment. As they get older, your approach will change as discussions become more complex; you may find yourself talking about historical events rather than their favourite TV characters, and home-based activities more advanced as they tackle homework, but you'll still be ensuring they're using the key thinking skills of reasoning, problem-solving and creativity. School is also the time to encourage them to socialise and, alongside that, to practise the essential social and emotional skills needed to develop and maintain relationships. A listening ear and calm advice when they've argued with their friends can teach them to mend any cracks in their friendships. A child who can manage their emotions, empathise with others, and resolve conflicts won't struggle to find friends who can give them support and encouragement when you're not around.
Building their confidence, perhaps by giving them some age-appropriate responsibilities or asking them to contribute to decisions, even if it only about what's for dinner, can give them the boost they need to ask, or answer, questions in class.
School can be a daunting place for children, whether it's adjusting to not having you around all day or managing the pressures of multiple homework assignments. They still need something vital you can give them; the support, encouragement and safe haven that gives them the confidence to succeed.
