Morning sickness is a lie
Not that it doesn’t exist – it very much does – but the “morning” part is misleading. It can hit at 10 a.m., 3 p.m., or just as you’re about to fall asleep. Some days, it’s mild queasiness; other days, it feels like you’re on a boat in a storm. Ginger biscuits? Sometimes a miracle. Other times, an insult. The trick is trial and error, find what works, and don’t let anyone tell you dry toast will fix it if it doesn’t.
Maternity clothes are a scam
Maternity leggings? Essential. But those fancy maternity jeans with the stretchy band? Save your money. By the time you really need them, you’ll probably prefer a pair of oversized joggers and your partner’s hoodie. There’s no rule saying you have to buy an entire maternity wardrobe – your usual clothes (plus a few strategic stretchy bits) will get you through just fine.
The overwhelming need to nest Is real
At some point, you’ll find yourself obsessing over things you never cared about before – like whether the baby’s muslins should be folded or rolled. You might also rearrange the nursery six times or deep clean the house at 3 a.m. It’s completely normal. Just try to remember that the baby won’t care if the changing table isn’t colour-coordinated with the crib sheets.
People have no filter
For some reason, pregnancy makes people think it’s okay to comment on your size, rub your belly like a lucky charm, or share horror stories about labour. It’s baffling. The best response? A polite smile and a subject change (or, if you’re feeling bold, a well-placed “That’s lovely, but I’d rather not hear about emergency C-sections while I’m in Tesco”).
The weird aches and pains
No one tells you about the random aches. Like the sharp twinge when you stand up too fast or the feeling that your hips are slowly being pulled apart (because, well, they kind of are). Your body is making room for a whole human, so things will shift in ways that don’t always feel great. A warm bath and a pregnancy pillow will be your best friends.
The emotional rollercoaster
One minute, you’re crying over a dog food advert, and the next, you’re rage-texting your partner because they bought the wrong kind of bread. It’s wild. Pregnancy hormones turn your emotions up to eleven, and while it can feel overwhelming, it’s normal. Just let yourself feel what you need to and apologise later if necessary.
The baby kicks are the best bit
There’s something surreal about feeling your baby move for the first time, like a tiny goldfish flipping inside you. At first, you’ll wonder if it’s just gas, but soon, it becomes undeniable. It’s reassuring, weird, and wonderful all at once. And yes, they will eventually start kicking you in the ribs when you’re trying to sleep.
Birth plans are just that – plans
Having an idea of what you’d like is great, but flexibility is key. Birth doesn’t always go the way you expect, and that’s okay. The main thing is getting through it safely. Whether it’s a home birth, a hospital birth, pain relief, no pain relief, there’s no “right” way. The best birth plan is one that you’re open to changing if needed.
The post-birth reality check
After the baby arrives, everything is a bit of a blur. You’re exhausted, emotional, and suddenly responsible for a tiny human who doesn’t come with instructions. The truth is, no one really knows what they’re doing at first. You learn as you go, and that’s enough.
You’ll never feel fully ready, and that’s fine
No matter how many lists you write, books you read, or baby grows you fold, there’s always that feeling of “Am I really ready for this?” The answer? Probably not. But no one is. You figure it out, one day at a time, and before you know it, you’re the one giving advice to the next clueless parent-to-be.
Pregnancy is messy, unpredictable, and a little bit magic. It’s also different for everyone, so take what advice works for you and ignore the rest. And if nothing else, remember this: You’ve got this.
